Call me loco

We're getting new wallpaper at my office. We're pretty fancy. 

We hired a really nice man to do all of the work for us. He's name's Caesar. And for some reason, I can't help but say his name a million times when I talk to him. Pretty much every sentence. Like when I first met him.

(He opens the front door and makes his way to my desk)
Him: "Ah. 'Alo?"
Me: "Hi."
Him: "Um." (scratches his arm) "I am here for the--" (points behind me)
Me: (blinks) "Oh! For the wallpaper?"
Him: "Jes." (nods) "I do the walls."
Me: "Okay, you must be Caesar."
Him: (smiles) "Jes."
Me: "Great, have a seat, Caesar. I'll grab my boss."
Him: "Gracias." (frowns and shakes his head) "Thank you."
Me: "No prob, Caesar. I'll be right back."

That whole day, any time he passed my desk, I'd smile and say, "Hi, Caesar," or "Need me to open the door, Caesar," or "Caesar, there's fruit snacks in the back if you want some...Caesar." 

When he left that night he nodded shyly as he walked toward the door.

Him: "Bye."
Me: "Bye, Caesar. Have a great night, Caesar."
Him: (smiles and stops walking ) "What, um...your name?"
Me: "Hm?"
Him: "Your name?"
Me: "Oh." (blushes) "I'm Bekah."
Him: "Baca?"
Me: "Bekah."
Him: (nods to himself and smiles) "Good night, Bayka."
Me: "See ya, Caesar."

This morning as I pulled into the parking lot I saw Caesar's crew going in and out of the back door, piles of dusty and discarded wallpaper over their shoulders. When I settled myself behind my desk my boss walked around the corner.

"Hey, Bekah."
"Good morning."
"I gotta run to the other office."
"Okay, no problem."
"Mind policing upstairs a bit?"
"No, I can do that."
"Okay, great. That's great. (scratches the back of his neck and shrugs) Caesar only knows your name for some reason."
"Oh."
"So if he needs something let me know."
"Okay, sure. Of course."
I'll be back in a bit, though. Call me if you have any problems, okay?"
"Okay."

When my boss walked out the back door I couldn't help but smile to myself.

P.s. I went through a pretty intense caesar salad phase in middle school.

P.p.s. I'm going through a pretty amazing Caesar the Hispanic wallpaper-man phase.

What can I say.

History has a way of repeating itself. 

  

I must have really sharp calves

I woke up to find a 3 foot long gash at the bottom of my sheets today.

The way I see it, there's only a handful of explanations:

This,

or maybe this,

 or this.

It gives me the heebie jeebies to think of the last one.

But in any case, I'll have to buy new sheets today.

And set up booby-traps around my bed.

Busy, busy.

Guys, this is forever

I want to tell you about my new friends. 

I met them Monday night. 

I met David first. He loves to race. He beat me to the fence. Twice.

Lisa watched me and David run. She believes in unicorns.

Brad is shy at first, but he likes red-heads. He thinks I'm a red-head.

Michael asked me to Prom. I'm pretty excited.

Richard had me sign my name in the notebook he keeps in his pocket.

And Donald asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes.

Median age of my new friends?

 43 years old.

Number of times I wished I'd met them sooner?

2.6 times per minute.

They all live at the Medallion Manor, which is a home for mentally and physically disabled adults. I walked into the center's recreation room to find 15 or so residents sitting around the tables, paper and markers at the ready. We were supposed to make Memorial Day collages. I was standing by one of the tables looking for a red pen when I suddenly felt someone poke my side. I turned around to face a tall, gangly stranger.   

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Bekah. What's yours?"

"David." He smiled. "You have a flower in your hair (I was wearing a headband). Want to race me?"

He took my hand and led me to the door.

"To where?" I asked.

"To that fence." He pointed out beyond the basketball court. "I'll run slow so you think you're winning."

I laughed. "In that case, absolutely."

"Absolutely yes," he said.

When we were tightening our shoelaces he suddenly gasped.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I forgot to tell you."

"What?"

He rubbed his nose. "I have ADHD. I can't run slow."

Ultimately, it was a close race, but David won. 

Lisa was sitting on the bench next to the door with her lavender colored unicorn shirt. She whispered to me later that I should have won. 

Girls gotta stick together.

Right after the race another man walked over to us and grabbed my hand.

"I gotta talk to you a while," he said.

"Sure."

We walked out to a little grove of trees near the basketball court. He held my hand and looked down at his shoes.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Bekah."

"I'm Donald. I gotta talk to you."

"Okay."

He scratched the top of his head and looked up at the branches above us.

"You got a boyfriend?" he asked.

"No."

He clapped his hands. "Wanna be my girlfriend?"

"Sure."

He clapped his hands again. We both clapped for a while, actually. When we were done clapping I put my hands on my hips.

"But only if you treat me right," I said.

"I will."

"You'll make me feel special?"

"Yes." He crossed his heart.

"Good." I smiled. "You're hired."

He pumped his fist in the air. "Come on," he said. "Since you're my girlfriend you can listen to my i-pod."

I met Michael playing basketball. That's when he asked me to Prom. He told me he'd be my friend for ever and ever. 

When Brad came up later he carefully touched my hair when my back was turned. He said he wants to dye his hair the same color. When I told him that would make us twins he chuckled. I guess he didn't believe me.

Conclusion.

Best. Monday. Ever.

P.s. When I got home I may or may not have looked up unicorn sightings online.

Pretty sure Lisa's on to something...